The Bachelorette: SPOTTED This Morning in Illadelph

That little hip-skin showing goes a long way.

The following is an email thread started by my friend Pat (who introduces himself as "Patrick") after he spotted Ashley the Bachelorette at a Dunkin' Donuts in West Philly earlier this morning.


Subject: Ashley!


Pat:  I just saw Ashley. For real. In the flesh (though not much flesh ... I'd say an appropriate amount of flesh for public spaces). She was at Dunkin Donuts. She was wearing a pink blouse with some sort of tight jegging/legging/spandex somethings. She's shorter than I expected. 

I walked up and said, "Ashley, I'm here for the right reasons," and to prove it I ordered a double chocolate glazed donut. 

My Wife:  DID YOU REALLY SAY THAT???  Also, which Dunkin Donuts?

Me:  We need more deets! Were people oogling? Did she look, oh, how you say? like she just spent the last few months getting f*cked by dudes all across the globe? Did she look like she'd been crying all night? ... C'MON PATrick!

Nick:  Interesting choice Pat. I would have gone with something insulting about her breasts.


Aubre:  Smallest. Tits. Ever. Aside from that - AWESOME STORY!!!! Was she dancing!? There's no way she wasn't dancing! P.S. How was the donut??


Unfortunately Pat never responded to our inquiries. He has one of those jobs where he has to do stuff. Well, there you have it, another disappointing news story from TV My Friend Pat Watches!