Bat Update - I Don't Have Rabies

Whatever happened to Kim Basinger?!?! ... She was a smoke dog!

Bat update - or as I like to call it - Bapdate:

- Zero bats have been spotted inside the house since last week's bat battle. But one did fly right by my head when I was on Bat Watch* Saturday night.

*Bat Watch is when you sit outside with a cooler of beer and watch the rooflines of your house to see where the bats are coming from. Bat Watch also involves LOTS of bug spray and a flashlight that my wife won't let me use because apparently "You CANNOT disturb animals on Bat Watch. You must observe them in their natural habitat. You don't know shit about scientific research." All of these things are actually true.

- The day following the bat battle, the wife made me get rabies shots - SEVEN of 'em - two in the arm, three in the thigh and two in the butt. Oh, also, when you get rabies shots, you actually have to go back to the hospital for FIVE ROUNDS of shots.

- A bat may or may not still be living in our second bedroom - which is actually like a giant walk-in closet - where we keep all of our clothes. Two bat-people were unable to find the bat. My wife and I have been scurrying in there every morning to get our clothes - and scurrying out. To be honest, I've been out of clean clothes for this entire week but still scurry in there every morning just in case a clean pair of underwear is SOMEWHERE inside.

Dr. Dongington does a thorough examination on Kimmy Kardash's rabies psoriasis. Minutes after this picture was taken, Dr. Dong's boner exploded, killing 17 people, not including his own boner - which is also a person. His boner's name was Edward. Edward was 67.