The Wife and I are Going on a Double Date Tonight to see WWE Wrestling

Look at that little right nip just slipping outside of that suspender. Absolutely rock-hard. 

Some primetime TV listings for Monday, December 19, 2011:

ABC: Kung Fu Panda Holiday Special, a Chipmunk Christmas -- Not bad. I like kung fu. And I actually saw a guy this morning in an abandoned tennis court practicing his jumping spin-kicks. He was kicking the fence. The Chipmunks are pretty dope too. Rating: B+

CBS: How I Met Your Mother, Two Broke Girls, Empty Nest, Knots Landing -- I know people say these CBS shows are good, but I can't imagine that's possible. Rating: D+

Fox: Terra Nova? -- Actual words from the actual description: "Occupation; Resistance. The 11th pilgrimage reaches Terra Nova; the Phoenix Group moves ahead with their plan." Rating: Snoozefest

PBS: Antiques Roadshow marathon -- Riveting for around 20 minutes. Rating: B+

BET: Mo' Money -- Secretly a pretty good movie. Stacey Dash? Eyes like a crystal palace (not sure what that means). Rating: B-

Bravo: Real Housewives of I Need a Monday Night Break From That Show -- Rating: Taylor, you don't need to do those things on television. I promise you. You don't need to do those things.

USA (still a channel apparently): WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW -- LIVE FROM THE WELLS FARGO CENTER IN PHILADELPHIA, WRESTLERS WHO I'VE NEVER HEARD OF (BESIDES JOHN CENA (THE "YOU CAN'T SEE ME" GUY) AND "THE MIZ" (WHO MY WIFE IS SORT OF EXCITED TO SEE) WILL BE CHOKE-SLAMMING EACH OTHER AND THERE WILL PROBABLY ALSO BE SOME CHICKS BLASTING OTHER CHICKS IN THE NECK AND BREAST REGION. I'M VERY EXCITED AND I HOPE MY WIFE AND MY FRIEND AND HIS WIFE ARE EXCITED TOO.

I haven't watched wrestling since the late 80's, but I got some free tix to Raw and I'm always down to eat hot dogs (and even though that wasn't meant to be a sexual innuendo, you can take it as one, because I'm also willing to suck a dong for free tickets). Plus, Steelers vs. Niners? Meh. Look for me in the stands, I'll be the guy wearing a button-down shirt with the enormous boner sitting next to three people constantly checking their cellphones.

I don't know what Marlon Wayans is doing back there, but it's probably hilarious. 

GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATOO UPDATE: pg 238 -- I'm still waiting for the first sex/stabbing scene. Also, for a book written about Swedish people, there hasn't been one mentioning of ski jumping. I'm a little embarrassed to be reading the book on the train/in public, but then again I'm broadcasting it to the whole world here on the internet (aka the four people who read this thing) and seeing as no one reads this thing, I'm now going to write a series of words that don't make sense, but that I find funny: slorv, grarv, klavendale, gorvenstorv.