Ray J Is What, Now?!?! ... aka Stuff I Learned Reading Us Weekly

Brandy, her brother Ray J, Jermaine O'Neal and his ENORMOUS shirt.

Yesterday, while waiting for flu shots at CVS, my wife and I flipped through the latest edition of Us Weekly. In my defense, Us Weekly was the ONLY magazine within reach worth checking out, unless you consider Dude's Fitness a good magazine, which you shouldn't, unless you're a college dude who only eats raw tuna and protein shakes, in which case you need to seriously calllllllmmmmmm down, dude. Despite their mediocre selection of magazines, CVS is still my pharmacy of choice, much better than Rite Aid, Walgreens and even Duane Reade, although DO NOT attempt to debate this with a New Yorker. It seems somehow that all New Yorkers have been brainwashed to think that Duane Reade is the greatest friggin' place ever, even better than Popeye's, because many Duane Reades also sell socks. I mean, I get it, I love socks, but people from New York need to shut up for like, five minutes of their lives.

Back to the Us Weekly, where I learned that Ray J (the dude that made the sex-tape with Kim Kardash) is actually Brandy's brother!!! (and Snoop's cousin, which is far less surprising considering the number of cousins the average black person has).

Upon reading this, I absolutely freaked out, elbowed my wife and asked her if she knew about this (which she did!) and continued to freak out for like the next three minutes.

Eventually, my wife asked, "How does that change anything?"

It doesn't, Dar! ... It doesn't!