The Lady Who Won The Pizza's Boyfriend Made This ...

Winning.

Real photo by real lady who won. 

And the Pizza Goes to ...

Take some Lactaid, would ya!

Katherine Grothracki!

Thanks to all who entered (except @PhillyPhoodie).

Katherine, please email me at TVMyWifeWatches@gmail.com so I know where to send your goddamn pizza!!

I bet this guy could eat so much pizza!

Backlash From the TVMWW Header Contest!!

The submissions keep rolling in! This one courtesy of some crazy lady from Texas.

Following the recent (and VERY successful) TVMWW Header / Soup Contest, there were some MAJOR jabs thrown at Gabulous's winning submission by the fifth place finisher, Loaves.

The following are a series of text messages exchanged by me and Loaves from last week. Loaves is a professional artist / video editor who once spent $400 on a pen. I've also seen him yell at televisions on many many occasions. He may or may not currently be on prescription medication. 

Loaves: Your new header is terrible. You should have picked Law's.

Evster:  I disagree!! Law's was WEAK. I actually liked Dick Dog's the best.

Loaves: Dick's was by far the worst.

This was Dick Dog's.

Evster:  Well we're gonna have to disagree to disagree. 

Loaves: The one that's up there is a good idea, but whoever those stiffs are in the TVs look like they're on murder trial.

Evster:  It's the Bachelor's mugshot and the host of The Bach. The girl who made it said she'll change those pics on request (based on what show is hot at that particular mome).

Loaves: Those guys need to get outta there, but I do respect the idea that the header says, "Here's a super crappy photo, get ready to read about some super crappy TV shows."

Evster:  We're disagreeing to disagree!! It's a good picture! That lady is so happy to have two televisions.

Loaves: Horrible quality mashed jpeg. Hurts eyes and feelings. Old one was colorful and pleasant, and just the right amount of shafty.

This was the old one.

Evster:  Well, I had a contest and you sent me a green puke colored couch. 

Loaves's submission. This is supposed to be an artsy shot of a couch.

Loaves: Mine was a good design. Low profile to allow long posts. No shim sham. Law's is super gay and funny. I'm advocating Law's. But really, is it much of a contest when the winner gets ten votes?

Evster:   Those votes didn't count! I'm a dictator. I'm Gaddafi! I chose who I wanted!

Loaves: Then choose Dick's!

Evster:  Dick's will get some time up there, eventually. Law's wasn't good! Just a guy!

This was Law's ... just a guy!

Loaves: At least I can infer that that guy is The Bachelor. The current one gives me no help.

Evster:  It's not my fault you're outta touch!

Loaves: You're gonna lose casual clickers with this one. It's misleading and creepy. Law's is at least funny.

Evster:  How is Law's funny? It's just a guy!

Loaves: TV My Wife Watches. You're being made to sit through looking at this dildo pass around flowers.

Evster:  I actually don't think he's a dild.

Loaves: The dude looks like a dildo in that picture.

And that was the end. I think we know who the real dild is.

Gabulous, care to put in your two-thousand cents?

This was a header submitted by Schmoopie, who wrote the initial email lambasting my former header.

TVMWW's Header Picture Contest: And The Winner Is ... Not Unveiled Yet

Thank you so much to the five actual human beings who took time out of their lives to submit pictures for the TV My Wife Watches New Header Picture Contest.

Of the five submissions, three of them came from idiots in my fantasy football league while two came from absolute strangers. That's 40% from absolute strangers. Forty percent. Let's check 'em out.

Artist:  Little Danny Dickdog - Charleston, South Carolina
Best known for trading away Michael Vick to his older brother (and eventual champion) in my fantasy football league. Also once had a ponytail.

Artist:  Gabulous - Illadelph

Renowned blogging commenter and lover of soup. Check out her artsy website here.

Artist:  Law - Illadelph

Gargantuan 6'4'' friend from elementary school who may or may not LOATHE this blog. I showed him the other entries and he CLEARLY thought his was the best. Follow Law on Twitter here.

Artist:  Loaves - Beantown

Middle school buddy who convinced me to quit my 8th grade basketball team so I could set fires with him and two other idiots. Underneath TVMWW it says, "blog blog blog blob blah." Also, Loaves claims that green thing there is a close-up of his couch. Fifth place.

Artist:  Dave - Beantown 

Degenerate sports fan who blogs about obscure Philly athletes on his blog, Where Is Ben Rivera? My wife was flabbergasted that The Facts of Life was left out of his collage.

Anybody have any thoughts before I pick the winner like my name is Moammar Gadhaffi?

TVMWW's New Header Picture Contest!

This French Onion soup could be yours!

Got an email from my friend Schmoopie today suggesting I make a new header picture for this here blog-blog, because the Real Housewives of New Jerz are sooo 2010. I wrote him back saying this header took me five hours to make and that HE should make me a new header. He then responded by saying that he has a child and can't do anything anymore.

AND SO, I hereby announce the first ever TVMWW's New Header Picture Contest!

Send in your submissions to TVMyWifeWatches@gmail.com and I will display any and all pictures. The winner will get a free bowl of soup!

Also, yes, I totally realize that there's ZERO CHANCE that anybody out there will actually make a new header picture, but if you do, FREE BOWL OF SOUP!!! ... ANY SOUP!!! ... my personal favorite is French Onion, but that's just me!

Below are pictures of two other headers that I made that fateful night when I stayed up until 4:00 am concocting this shitbox of a blog.

***Evster's note 2/18:  received a few amazing submissions, thank you to all who submitted ... we'll end this contest on Wednesday and post the winner's new header and all submissions on Thursday. 

Almost went with this one!

I still haven't blogged about the Kardashians ... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!