Thursday, January 6, 2011

VH1 is still a channel?!?! ... Holy Guacamole!

Behind the Music: En Vogue and TLC ... orrrrr Money Hungry Women Who WILL Fight You.

On our cable package, VH1 comes in on channel 886, right in between a music channel called Fuse and another channel called GMC that is currently showing Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. Because of it's positioning 684 slots away from ESPN and a much closer, but still distant 52 channels higher than Bravo, VH1 has been off my radar for years.

All that changed this week when my wife rediscovered the channel and we were introduced to Basketball Wives and Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Dorkenstein.

Basketball Wives is incredible. It's part crap, part mind-blowing and part devastatingly tragic, specifically the lives of Jennifer (pathetically hanging on to an ex-NBA bum) and the reality world comeback of Tami from the Real World (ex-wife of Kenny Anderson, bum of a husband and father).

Celebrity Rehab is supposed to be the heavier hitting of the two shows and can certainly tug on heart strings, but may in fact be the more ridiculous program thanks to Jason Davis, whose name leads you to believe he was once the starting power forward for the Orlando Magic, but is in fact a billionaire heir whose life has been taken over by heroin.

Top Row - L to R: Some guy, some lady, some lady who may be a guy and Charles Manson Leif Garrett. Bottom Row - L to R: Some guy, lady, person named Frankie, Jason the Ultimate Villain from Laguna Beach, Another guy named Jason who is an absolutely ridiculous human being and a doctor who goes by his first name a la Dr. Ruth.

Despite their tales of woe and the fact that you just read the two most depressing paragraphs in TV My Wife Watches history, these two shows also lend themselves to absolute hilarity and I plan to blog about them in the very near future. I also plan to make a tuna melt immediately.

For now, I would highly recommend either one of these programs as well as melting cheese on any and all sandwiches. And to be quite honest, I highly recommend ANY show on VH1. They have a laundry list of programs that sound absolutely fantastic including one that follows Chili from TLC (the pretty one, who apparently sort of dates Floyd Mayweather?!?!). There's also a show with Brandy and Ray J, a show where they cut off spoiled children from their parents, and still the occasional airing of Mötley Crüe: Behind the Music, which every time I watch it makes me seriously consider taking drum lessons and/or doing LSD (and then also making a tuna melt).

I honestly did not expect this post to be this long. I basically planned on just saying, "Yo, you gotta watch VH1. It's amazing. More to come soon. Also, Vince Neil is such a douche."

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