Real Housewives of New Jerz: Guess Who's Back, Guess Who's Back, Guess Who's Back

Teresa Guidice with her three lovely daughters and a miniature gorilla. 

TONIGHT: Real Housewives of New Jersey - 9pm on Bravo.

What's new? - Some ladies

Who's gone? - Danielle - off to become a professional gutter slut

New lady.

Whoa.

What people are saying about it:

"I don't have cable and my Internet connection is spotty at best." - Jesse Feddd

"My only goal in life is to one day be on this show! Also, lifetime supply of beef jerky (if I could have 2 goals)." - Miss Ocean City, NJ, 2005

"I will never eat pizza again, if they will please make it stop." - Superfan, Thad S. 

"SWAG!" - Schmoopie Ross

"OMG - it's starting already?!?! Do the Guidice's still have enough money to drive a Hummer? What about that dumb ass who got kicked out of law school for being a rahtard? Is he working at BK? It's gonna be awesum!!!" - MegaSuperfan, Gabulous

"I'm theoretically excited about it, but when will I have time to clean the house and do Zumba???" - My Wife

"I love this blog - I love you - I never watch Housewives." - BonkersFan, Sheryl Braves

"Are you aware that the NBA conference finals just started? You've changed." - Sweddies

"F**k you." - Loaves, TVMWW's podcast producer